For When You Feel Like You’re Not Good at Anything

10/30/2025

Harsh title. Let’s get vulnerable.

I’ve been racking my brain trying to find a gentle, digestible way to introduce this topic — but I couldn’t. So let’s just jump straight into the nitty-gritty.

We all have that friend, partner, or coworker who seems to be good at everything. They excel in their careers, they know multiple languages, they have every hobby known to man - and they are good at each individual one, as if they were born with it. Doesn’t matter if it is something creative and artistic, or athletic, they cover all the bases.

I have a friend like this, my wonderful and beautiful friend Raquel. It seemed as if she played every single sport in high school (and was successful at all of them), she creates beautiful art, can sing, is incredibly creative, loves to dance, everything. And to prove my point further, she is over the top beautiful, funny, and the most kindhearted person I’ve ever met.

I never once looked at Raquel with jealousy, but more of admiration. She consistently inspires me to keep showing up and being the best version of myself.

But throughout my life, I’ve also met people who unintentionally made me feel lackluster — like I wasn’t really good at anything (of course, Raquel is exempt from this).

I didn’t play a conventional sport growing up, I did dance and danced competitively for a bit. While passion was never a question, it wasn’t like I was born being more flexible or with the ability to do a million turns in a row. To get to a place where I was conventionally good, I had to work very hard. Because of this, while I wouldn’t trade dancing for the world, I’m not the most skilled with more normal sports. Even playing recreationally, I can feel anxious about my ability.

I also play guitar, however, I did 3 years of lessons in high school and now I play occasionally. I also had to work hard to get to a place where I was happy with my level.

The one thing I’ve consistently been told throughout my life is that I’m a great writer. While you might laugh given that my blog can be a bit unserious, I remember being told my entire life that I had a knack for writing. I always thought, “Finally, something I was born with.” While you can believe someone is “born” with something or not, it was something that came very naturally, and it felt like I didn’t have to work overtime to be successful at it.

All of this to say, there have been multiple times in my life where I felt my passion succeeded how good I was at an activity or hobby. And if you’re reading this, it is safe to assume you have also had self-doubt on your ability to excel at certain things in your life - whether it be your career, hobbies, relationships, etc.

Self-awareness is the first step. The second is not letting self-doubt or comparison block what you truly want. This is where passion & genuine work comes in.

If you truly want to get better at something or achieve a certain goal, you have to be willing to accept that you weren’t “born” with something and can’t optimize on what you were given. We are not all Michael Phelps who just so happened to hit the genetic lottery for swimming. You have to be willing to drop the ego and start from zero. Working hard for what you want can feel so much better than if you were just gifted. And even sometimes, you might even pass the people who were gifted because they feel they don’t have to work as hard.

Let me give an example:

Due to the fact that I was great at English, I was a bit less than stellar at math. However, I had a goal of always maintaining my 4.0, so I can’t tell you how many hours I spent on YouTube and in tutoring to keep me up to speed. I was having to study very hard on topics that clicked the first time for other students.

However, because of my passion and desire, I usually got the top scores in the class. Not because I was great at math, but because I worked hard to get there.

This is not to put myself on a pedestal or bask in any success, but to show you that I am someone that does not feel like they are naturally good at a lot of things. I’m not great at sports, I cannot draw or paint very well, I don’t have some amazing secret voice or musicality talent. But this is not to say I am average. I work hard for the things I want, and that is how I achieve them - or am on the route to achieving them. My passion will always lead my brain as I refuse fall into a limited belief mindset.

On the subject of a limited belief mindset, it is also important that we note that you cannot compete where you don’t compare. No matter how hard I work or how much passion I have - standing at a height of 5’5, I cannot dunk a basketball how men who are 6’7 can in the NBA. Excuse my example, for I am not very good at sports, but I also don’t really know anything about them either.

Beyond skills and hobbies, there’s another kind of strength — how you treat yourself and others. While I may not have all the hobbies in the world or be the best at them, I know my personality to be kind and accepting to all. I am a great listener and deeply care about people and their lives. Being a great friend and someone to turn to is of utmost importance to me. In middle and high school, I used to be known amongst my friends as the best hug giver. I loved that.

As Steinbeck wrote in East of Eden, “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” Being a good person will always overrule your career accomplishments and simple hobbies. At least I know that to be true.

So, I recommend finding the things that bring you joy and are passionate about, and work hard for them, even if you feel you weren’t born with it or aren’t great at it naturally. On top of it all, also remember how you treat one another and yourself, because the most success you may find in this life is  the content within yourself at the end of the day.

And many people with the most success cannot say that simple fact.