To Become Vintage

“And I became a body I didn't know

One larger, but stronger

Woven and sewn up like Dolce

Like Versace and Gucci

I pulled at the seams of my leather

Breaking in the new skin I now wore

But this time I wore it with pride

The lines on my hips were no longer failure

But evidence that I have lived and loved

The lines on my face were no longer divots of weariness

But the truth of the times I have smiled more than the past

Growing into your body is terrifying

Like jumping from the swing your first time

Or leaping off the diving board into a cool, cold pool

But Lord is it invigorating

Boy does it coat you from the inside out

To know that you've lost and learned and leaned on others

To know that you've cried and called and clawed for every freckle

From the earth we came

And to the earth we will return

But every seam of us will always belong to our memories

Our ones of nights riding bikes in the subdivision

Our ones of long walks through sand and soot

I would much rather hold my memories close

Clinging to them like a lost child

Than fit into my most recent jeans

Made of cheap fabric and hubris

Because they too will return to the tired dirt beneath our feet

But the footprints won't bear nearly as monumental as the ones that our skin bears

My body may be different

It may be larger, more pock marked and sullen

But it is mighty in the face of everything

I have overcome and become

And for that I am grateful

So I will choose to worship it

I will choose to guide it and hold it

As my mother once did for me

Because coming of age isn't something to be afraid of

It is something to cherish just as dearly as our first real bag or our first fine fitting jeans”

Chloe Trinka

Writer, Archaeologist, Friend.