You have more impact than you think
5/15/2025
Recently, my friend Raquel and I were on the topic of things people said to us in middle/high school that we never forgot. Allow me to share some of mine:
From a classmate, “Why is your face a different color than your neck,” when I was experimenting with makeup for the first time.
From a teacher, “Did you go for like a female-mullet,” after the WORST haircut of my life.
From a friend, “Did you get your nose pierced,” after I popped the biggest zit on the side of my nose, and it left a hole.
None of what these people said at the time seemed impactful, and they probably didn’t intend for it to stick, but here I am, still thinking about those comments from time to time as a college graduate. And don’t get me wrong, I likely have a handful of unintentional (or intentional, no one’s perfect!) bitchy things people remember I said in my past as well.
Bottom line is, you never know what is going to stick with people.
While I have to admit, negative comments tend to linger longer than positive ones, I can also list some of the best compliments I’ve received, or the way someone has made me feel positively.
Someone recently told me that my vibe gave off the same energy as Sex & the City. I was beyond flattered. Some of my friends are always willing to listen to music I send them (sharing music is a love language) and it makes me feel good, of course, but also very connected to them. It’s impactful.
You can have such a great impact on people, whether conscious or not, but it is up to you to pick what type of impact you want to leave. It only takes a few words and actions to impact someone’s life, potentially forever. Understand you have that power, and use it wisely. Each of us has impact at the tip of our fingers.
One simple comment can change the way someone perceives themselves. Treating someone with kindness when they are at a low point can make a drastic difference. If people truly knew the impact words and actions had to one another, specifically a positive impact, I believe people would be more gentle, give out more compliments instead of just thinking them, and remember that even if someone doesn’t show, you never really know what someone is going through.
Maybe you’ve left a negative impact on someone in the past, (everyone has, it’s okay!) it is never too late to change that impact into a positive one. Make amends and grow. We should be celebrating our friendships and connections and always remember to cherish those we have around us.
To conclude, I have two challenges for you:
Think of a time back in school where someone said something that had an impact on you. Reflect on that experience and why it ultimately left an impact you still remember today.
Give out more compliments. How many times have you thought of something nice to say to someone, just to let the thought die down in your head. Speak it out loud. Telling someone you love their outfit or the way they express themselves can change the way they look and feel about themselves.
Even if you feel as if you are powerless, unable to invoke change or inspire, we all have the power to impact ourselves and everyone around us. Start today.