What I Know at 23 (It Will All Be Different This Time Next Year)
7/9/2026
Happy cancer season to all who celebrate.
I recently turned 23, an age that had me biting my nails and complaining to my friends for all of 22. Now that it is here, of course, it strangely seems less daunting. As if the single night between 22 and 23 could alter everything that had felt so constant. Still one year closer to 30 — yet every year I grow older, I feel I continue to grow into myself and who I am supposed to be.
When I think about where I was this time last year, the knot in my stomach and chest tightens. I was gravely unhappy, not all of the time, but a majority, which is ironic given that I wrote a blog post talking about how unhappy I was during my 21st year and how I felt better years were ahead of me at 22.
While no year or life is without flaw, and triumphs will continue to cross your path, I believe I can say with confidence that I am in a much better place of finding myself and exploring opportunities I didn’t deem possible.
All of this to say, I have collected knowledge from friends, my parents, past lovers, miscellaneous interactions, and my own mistakes and rebellion. Allow me to share it with you, as everything I have to offer will likely be contorted into something new by next year. You can determine if I am a reliable narrator.
What I Know About Dating
Ethan Hawke’s quote, “The one who's in love always wins” easily altered the way I perceive the world. During my 23 years, I can safely say I have fallen in love a handful of times (even if I sometimes question the severity). Every time I've loved someone, I have always come out on top, no matter how it concluded. My heart and kindness have proved to be my most valuable asset, and I am always willing to extend it to someone else.
Before you ask, yes — people have 100% exploited this. But I am not the type of person to shy away from love or a chance to revel in the kindness of love due to past experiences. Every person is someone new, and being angry or guarded keeps you tethered to your past. I refuse to be tethered.
Be the person always in love.
On the opposite end of this spectrum, it would be silly of me to not acknowledge the 2026 dating scene in the era of ghosting, lovebombing, and attachment styles. Another important lesson, as my dear friend Lili loves to say, “He’s just not that into you.” Simplest sentence in the world, do not forget it. You will save yourself months of overthinking and dwelling once you realize nothing is yours and to not take anything too serious. Not every connection will be permanent, and may only serve to teach you a new lesson.
At the end of it all, your true love should be yourself.
What I Know About Careers
As someone who changes careers, jobs, and paths rather quickly, not necessarily recommending by the way, I’ve learned that while having an income is of high priority and necessity, it should never be all-consuming.
You can change your mind a million times about what career you wish to spend your days in, and that is what I officially recommend. I hope you never find yourself feeling stuck in a career you don’t love, only to work the same type of role for the next 40 years until retirement. Life is so incredibly short to hate how you spend it 40 hours a week.
I was working in marketing, then unemployed, and now in sales. I still find myself thinking about becoming a therapist. Changing directions is scary, but staying complacent is scarier. The world is still our oyster.
This does not go without the acknowledgement that the job market is exceedingly rough and most people my age work jobs they are entirely overqualified for. We will continue to figure it out together — makes it more manageable that way.
What I Know About Change
While careers and love are impossibly important, I think above all is the way to carry yourself through change. Life can and will change drastically and dramatically, likely every single day you’re alive (even when it doesn’t feel it is). Please allow yourself to welcome in all the new and all the good. There is too much hardship throughout life to reject what newness can bring.
You will gain people and lose them the same, change cities, fall in love, end a friendship, gain a new one, become closer with your mother, more estranged with yourself. It is impossible to predict. Change your music taste, your style, your hair, rearrange your furniture, just to put it back the way you had it before.
Allow yourself to try at the risk of failure, and put yourself out there at the risk of embarrassment. You never know what action or opportunity can alter your entire life.
Embarrassment is an unexplored emotion anyway.
What I Know About Life
Nothing. Each idea I have changes each day and with each new experience. The only thing I consistently carry with me is the way I treat others and try to perceive the world. Lead with love as vast as the ocean. Be inspiringly optimistic. Even through turbulent times, everything will ultimately work out exactly how it is supposed to. What is meant for you will never pass you by.
Simply put, enjoy every single second. Don’t forget to try something new and tell them how you feel.
Before you blink, you’ll be one step closer to 24.